Opposites Attract (Attract me, that is)

Yes, ladies and gentleman, these are my fish in the pond. My orange fish, I would say. Almost a year ago I was day dreaming about men on vespas who had good taste for wine, and now I'm back to men who love only the 4 d's: booze, basketball, and double D's. Well maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. I decided to map out the differences. Don't worry, this isn't like Mark Zuckerberg's original facemash that turns into a multibillion dollar face book--I don't have any algorithms to write on my window for that.

Instead, here's a short breakdown of the Italian vs. The American boy (the good, and the bad).


The Italian

1. Dressed to perfection, always. Okay maybe I am exaggerating a bit here but lets highlight the pros first.

2. Knows how to kiss. I will not admit if this was learned from experience or not, but I speak the truth.

3. Has an epic taste for wine. Keystone, Bud light, and Franzia boxed wine do not exist in the man's mind.

4. Enjoys dancing. Sure the bumping and grinding can get old, but a true Italian man knows how to dance without a few drinks in him.

5. Can cook!! It is difficult to find a man in Italy who has no sense of what makes a good dish. Even if he's not a mastermind in the cucina, he sure knows how to eat (dipping chunks of bread in sauce is the way to a man's heart in bella Italia).

The cons...

1. Is probably still 35 and living with his mother.

2. Can become a bit aggressive/non stop obsessive once he gets hold of your number. They don't mean to be stalkers, but they are.

3. Sometimes they really aren't Italian at all. Many men in the clubs of Florence are Albanian, knowing they can lure you in with their fake accent and leather shoes. You'll constantly hear the phrase, "What's with deese American gurls."

4. They make fun of American girls who say "Oh My God." They pronounce it "Ohhh Myyy Gawwwd," and continue to mock the phrase for about fifteen minutes. It gets old.

5. They only like soccer, or "futbol," so sports talk is very limited.

Bonus # 6. It can be 95 degrees out, but they will still wear long sleeves until it is officially summer.


The Syracuse Americano

1. They know what buffalo chicken pizza is.

2. They enjoy a variety of sports and probably have basketball season tickets at the Dome.

3. You can actually understand every word they say (for the most part).

4. They were baseball caps, if you're into that sort of sports look.

5. You can write on their facebook wall in English

The cons...

1. Their selection in beer ranges from keystone to Miller light. In turn, they'll do anything for a good deal on pitchers at Chuck's.

2. They probably get most of their pick up skills from Jersey shore reruns.

3. Their wardrobe consists of blue jerseys, orange hats, sweatshirts with the male version of Hester Prynne's "S" (orange is a new shade or red).

4. Many of them are in a frat or know about one (yes I consider this a con).

5. Their ideal date is probably Pita El Saha on Marshall Street.

Bonus# 6 They probably have painted their chest orange at some point for a homecoming game.


My last week in Florence, I crashed my vespa into a ditch while on a wine tour. The tour guide refused to let me continue riding. After much whining , I caved. I quickly noticed his English was a little too good to be true. Turns out he was half American/half Italian. For the first few years of his life he experienced New England winters, much like Syracuse and now was joyriding through the hills of Tuscany as a living.

I guess I got the best of both worlds. Too bad my flight home to the states was in five days. But like every Italian and American known to man, he has a facebook.